


we're both pissed off (and yet turned on)

by justwantedtodance



Series: i'm clearly not over you yet. [1]
Category: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (TV)
Genre: Angry Sex, F/M, Hate Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Suspiciously Gone For 8 to 10 Minutes, horny angry tango, three part fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-17
Updated: 2018-06-01
Packaged: 2019-05-08 01:40:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14683758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justwantedtodance/pseuds/justwantedtodance
Summary: A series of three fill-in moments from 3x10 "Oh Nathaniel, It's On!"





	1. screw you.

“Are you out of your mind?”

If she were being honest with herself, maybe she was being a little extreme going to this length to get back at Nathaniel, but in her defense, she’s coming from a place of good intent in championing for the “little guy.” And _ maybe _ the hormones have heightened her behavior over the past few days, so out of her mind, she may very well be. Just don’t call her crazy.

“Excuse me, you cannot just barge in my house, and you know what? You don’t have any right to be mad at me. I’m the good guy here. I’m just looking out for, f--for . . .” Her own feelings, her overwhelming desire for Nathaniel,  _ god, he’s fucking hot in that suit _ \-- “for the people of Whitefeather.”

He cuts her off with his hand and demands an explanation for why and how she managed to get Stacy on board with her idea, and her thinly veiled excuse about representing Stacy in a lawsuit against a  _ fucking baby _ doesn’t satisfy him.

“No, I know what this is. You’re just trying to get back at me for not rehiring you, and for the Raging Waters thing, and--” Rebecca gasps and stares back at him triumphantly.

“Oh! Ohh, so you admit it. Raging Waters was just to rub your new relationship in my face. Oh my god, it’s so transparent.” Sure, she gained a small victory in knowing that he just wanted to aggravate her with taking his new girlfriend to Raging Waters, but he wasn’t about to let her have the upper hand that easily. “Look, it’s not my fault you can’t get over me.” 

“Oh, I am over you. I am completely and totally over you.” Rebecca’s face mocks the sincerity in his statement, and a nagging part of him he tries to bury behind a tough, cool facade points his finger and tells him to drop the act.

He continues, “Yeah, I’m dating someone who’s funny, intelligent,  _ not _ crazy--” Ok, the last one is maybe a bit too much, but getting a rise out of Rebecca delights his petty intentions.

“Not crazy? Oh, nice word. Screw you.” Her voice climbs in pitch as she takes a step closer to him.

“Screw you,” Nathaniel shoots back petulantly. He matches her step, and Rebecca swears the room got ten degrees hotter in the last thirty seconds.

“Screw you.” Rebecca’s voice drops down to almost a growl, and she finds herself toe-to-toe and glaring at Nathaniel.

“Screw you,” he says pointedly. “I don’t think about you at all anymore.”

“I don’t think about you either.” She can say that all she wants, but it’s hard to deny she hasn’t thought of this moment as her chest brushes Nathaniel’s, and she feels the hairs on her arms stand on end.

Feeling the shift in tension as Nathaniel stares down at her, gaze scorching with desire, he drops his voice and moves his body closer to her still. “I never think about you when I’m home alone in bed warm under the covers at night.” His mind definitely doesn’t flash back to the previous night’s hazy visions of her straddling him, her hands on his chest, nails raking trails of ecstacy down his pecs as she chases her pleasure.

“I don’t think about you when I’m in a hot tub with high-powered jets.” Rebecca feels a hot rush of arousal run between her thighs when she mentions the hot tub. Her thighs clench together when she thinks back to last night soaking a few extra minutes in the hot tub while Stacy gathered her documentation from inside her house. As her hand drifted to her core and the jets massaged her back, her hum of satisfaction at the press of her finger against her clit and the image behind her eyes of Nathaniel dumbfounded and helpless with no choice but to concede to her will catapulted her into orgasm quickly.

“What?” He’s taken aback by her statement, and the flutter of her eyelashes gives it away that she’s clearly not over him yet either.

“Nothing. So, we agree, this conflict is just about the legalities of the case.” Nathaniel chuckles and brings his mouth down to her, his breath tickling the shell of her ear and rustling through her hair.

“It’s so much more than that, and you know it.” Nathaniel moves his mouth away from her ear but keeps his face tantalizingly close, close enough to where Rebecca could stretch on the tips of her toes and capture his lips like he knows she wants to. She tries to disguise the shudder that overtakes her body as he speaks into her ear and ghosts his lips over the sensitive crest when he pulls back. “Even if this was just about legal superiority, it’s pointless to even try. Face it, Rebecca, with your insufficient evidence and lack of a clear head, you won’t win. Spare yourself the humiliation and just drop the case.”

It’s Rebecca’s turn to scoff dramatically at Nathaniel, and she turns the flustered part of her lips into a smirk laced with a dash of hurt and a cupful of arrogance. “I think the only one who should be spared the humiliation is you. When I obliterate you in that courtroom, you’ll have wished you never tested me.”

Nathaniel looks down at her with challenge fiery in his eyes. “Is that a threat?”

Rebecca smiles and pulls him down to her by his tie, repeating his earlier action of brushing her lips against his ear and exhaling warmly on his neck. “That’s a promise,” she whispers, turning on her heel to head into her bedroom but not before giving his earlobe a quick nip. Now, she’s just asking for it.

It would be easy to let her have her moment of power over him, to let her think she has the upper hand going into the courtroom, but a surge of a distant Nathaniel flashes through him, and his brain can’t stop his feet from moving to catch Rebecca. Her dark curls whip around as Nathaniel snatches her wrist and turns her to face him. She almost gets a hand on the doorknob before she’s spun around and nearly pressed against Nathaniel. There’s frustration in his eyes that’s one part angry and two parts sexual that stirs the already crackling fire in Rebecca’s blood.

“This is ridiculous. We both know what this is about, so just drop the damn suit, Rebecca.”

“Whatever you think this is about, you’re wrong. This is about you abusing your power and privilege, and I’m not about to let you win this.” Nathaniel applauds her insistence on not backing down from this fight, but he’s just as unwilling to concede either. His height a clear advantage, he takes a step closer, and Rebecca inches back towards the door until her back collides with the surface behind her. With nowhere to go and nowhere to hide, she takes a deep breath and stiffens her gaze up at him.

“So, you mean to tell me you have no other motive? You didn’t go after me because you can’t stand the thought of someone else in my life, on my arm,  _ in my bed _ ? Hmm?” Nathaniel’s fingers graze her cheeks before tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. His fingers continue their trail down the strand of hair and release the end of it only to ghost over the column of her neck with his fingertips, leaving room for only a hair-thin current of electricity to pass between their skin. Rebecca shudders with the faintest hint of a gasp, exposing her neck further to his touch but only because she stands up taller and more determined to meet his eyes on his level. 

“How long are we going to play this game, Rebecca?” An innermost piece of him taunts him that should be asking himself the same question. “You sure can fool a lot of people, but you sure as hell can’t fool me. This case is just a lame cover-up to hide the fact that you’re jealous of my new girlfriend, my funny, intelligent,  _ not crazy _ \--”

“Shut the fuck up,” Rebecca hisses and pushes her hand against his chest with just enough force to make him take a small step back. Nathaniel sizes her up once again, and this time, his hand slams against the door and traps her body against his and the wood behind her.

“Make me,” Nathaniel growls with just a hint of pleading. Desperation overtakes them both, and if Rebecca didn’t make the move first, Nathaniel thought he might drop dead. Thankfully, Rebecca pounces on him eagerly and pulls him down to her for a fiery open-mouthed kiss. She pushes all tenderness aside and kisses Nathaniel as if she were starving, and was she ever. The hormones didn’t help her pressing need for him, but god, she missed him more than she cares to admit.

Her hand keeps purchase in the back of his head to guide his lips down her neck where she needed them most while her other hand grabs the lapel of his jacket and pulls him closer, if that were even possible. While Nathaniel’s hand slips from the door behind her and tangles in her hair, he reaches around to turn the handle on the door and guides Rebecca inside while never breaking their lips but still careful not to let her fall backwards when he pushes the door open.

Rebecca seizes the opportunity to reverse their positions, now Nathaniel being the one with his back against the door, and she strips his jacket from his shoulders, anxious to feel his skin sliding against hers again. Their lips part momentarily while Nathaniel lifts Rebecca’s shirt over her head, but as soon as he tosses it aside, his teeth sink into her neck while he wraps her hair around his fingers and keeps it to the other side. Both of Rebecca’s hands fist in his shirt, and she moans into his ear, a deliciously strangled sound against his unshaven cheek.

She struggles with the buttons for a few moments before requesting Nathaniel’s help. “Off,” she demands breathily. Nathaniel obliges her and makes a show of popping each button from its hole, dragging out the process as long as he can. Rebecca’s glare makes him laugh internally and tries not to let it slip, and she smacks his hands away to finish the job hastily herself. With his shirt open, she flattens her hands over the muscles of his stomach and chest and sighs in relief when she caresses his skin.

It’s only a moment she pauses to revel in his touch before she goes back to kissing him again while she slips her feet out of her heels and kicks them off to the side. The sudden change in height startles Nathaniel, and determined to keep his lips pressed against hers and tongue hot and needy moving in tandem with hers, he lifts her from the ground, and she instinctively wraps her legs around his back as he moves back towards her bed.

Nathaniel drops her on the bed and makes quick work of her pants while she pushes his shirt fully from his shoulders and starts to reach for his belt. Her hands don’t stay there long and end up pinned on either side of her head as he climbs on top of her, imprinting his lips in a hot trail down her neck. As arousing as this is, Rebecca knows what she needs and isn’t in the mood for restraint in her orgasm. She tries winding her wrists in his grip, but Nathaniel keeps her there, determined to keep the power in his favor.

“Say my name and I’ll let you go,” Nathaniel says against her skin, his mouth on the swell of her chest sucking a possessive mark.

“Asshole,” she groans, pushing her hips up into him to gain any sort of friction she can manage. Nathaniel isn’t a fan of her answer, so he redoubles his grip on her wrists and grinds his hips into her aching center. Fuck, that’s too good. Rebecca lets out a long moan and tosses her head back on her bed. “Oh my god . . . oh  _ fuck _ , Nathaniel.”

He releases her wrists with a smug grin, and Rebecca sits up to unclip her bra from behind her while Nathaniel stands up and uses his newly unoccupied hand to reach beneath her underwear to rub quick circles into her clit. She slides her bra from her shoulders with a smirk, and Nathaniel mutters a curse under his breath as his mouth greedily latches to one nipple. While he is effectively distracted lavishing attention to both of her nipples, she finally has a moment to undo his belt and pants, which is becoming increasingly difficult as her focus becomes hazier with arousal. Rebecca manages to get his pants off, and before her back hits the mattress again, she swings her leg over Nathaniel’s hip and uses all her strength to flip him on his back. Nathaniel doesn’t take his hand from her clit as she spreads her legs on either side of his hips and works her hips into his touch. He sighs when he slips one teasing finger inside of her and relishes in the grip of her walls around his finger, and Rebecca braces her hands on his chest as she feels her release quickly approaching.

She’s silent as she comes other than a few gasping breaths, and Nathaniel hums beneath her as he observes her face contorting in pleasure. He drinks in the sight of her chest rising and falling like an unceremonious ocean tide. As her breathing slows, suddenly she’s moving off of him and reaching inside her bedside table for a condom, and Nathaniel lies back and watches her rip open the foil packet in earnest. In his expert opinion, nothing is more attractive than a woman who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to go after it. She hastily rolls the condom on him, her hands still pulsating with sexual bliss, and frantically grabs his face to kiss him.

“Damn, were you always this insatiable, woman,” Nathaniel asks cheekily against her lips. Rebecca exhales and mumbles at him to be quiet as she sinks down on him, her wetness drenching his cock inside of her. “Oh, fuck yes. God, you’re so tight,” Nathaniel grunts against her and rests his hands on her hips while she rides him.

Rebecca’s back arches as she rides out her pleasure, her previous orgasm overlapping her building one, and she craves the feeling of Nathaniel’s hands on her skin, his fingertips leaving presents of his presence in the fleshy curves of her hips. She rests her head briefly in the cradle between his neck and shoulder while she utters a husky request for him to talk dirty to her. Rebecca listens intently, moving up and down on his cock to the rhythms of his speech, and she savors the way the filth rolls off his tongue, each syllable dripping from his mouth like melted chocolate.

He talks into her ear about the delicious press of her hips, how her pussy tightens when she lifts up and how her wetness engulfs him when she sinks down and takes each inch of him inside of her. He groans into her neck about her breasts, full and tender but nonetheless stunning. He saves her lips for last just as she’s on the verge of her orgasm, slipping his tongue inside of her mouth and swallowing her desperate cry for release. She’s so close, so damn close; all she needs is a little push.

“I want to fuck you until you scream.”

Fuck. There it is.

Rebecca’s walls constrict around Nathaniel with small but fierce pulses, and she moans into his mouth, a beautiful sound that stems from within her chest. She lies still above him while the orgasm washes over her body, but Nathaniel hasn’t had enough of her yet. His hands still perched on her hips, he moves her hips on his cock while the broken sounds of her moans and ever-tightening grip on his hair guides him onwards.

“I want to hold you down and use you, Rebecca. I want you to come for me again, and again, and again,” he punctuates each one with a slow, deep thrust inside of her that garners a moan each time getting breathier by the minute. “I want your body all for myself. I don’t want any other man to make you come like I do.”

“Do it,” she whispers fiercely and lies still atop him. Looking into his eyes to express her sincerity, she repeats herself. “You want to. I want to. So do it, Nathaniel.”

At first, he’s unsure of whether or not to believe her, but she nods at him, letting him know he has her permission and consent.  _ I want to, I’ve always wanted to _ rings loudly in the back of his mind, and with her expressed permission, Nathaniel lifts her off of him and rolls out from underneath her as she collapses bonelessly on her stomach. She winces at the sensitivity in her nipples from the overstimulation, and she brushes off Nathaniel’s pause to ask if she’s okay with a cursory nod and a toss of her hair away from her face.

Standing beside her bed resting on her stomach, Rebecca takes a moment to turn her head backwards and chase after Nathaniel’s absence at her center with an impatient groan. Nathaniel grips her hair in his hand and guides her to face away from him but tips her head backwards to gain access to her ear and the sensitive places near it.

“Patience, Rebecca. I know that must be a hard concept for you with all those hormones racing through your body.” Nathaniel stands behind her and takes an appreciative once-over of her body, a deep hum of satisfaction springing from his chest. “Look at you. You’re just so desperate for me, aren’t you?” Rebecca nods and presses her hips back into Nathaniel, but he doesn’t place himself inside of her yet, wanting to savor his power just a tiny bit longer. He clicks his tongue at her, releasing her hair but taking hold of both her wrists and pinning them to the small of her back. “Be still.”

At last, he thrusts into her again, and even though she isn’t the one in charge of the pace, the flame still burns rampantly and spreads an intoxicating heat throughout her body. Even though she lies still as she possibly can, it doesn’t stop Rebecca from expressing her pleasure vocally. A series of fragments of his name and  _ yes _ and _ please  _ and _ more  _ and a combination of the three tumble from her lips with insistence. From Nathaniel’s, every coherent combination of “god yes Rebecca” and a choice expletive leaves his mouth as he grips her wrists, pale symbols of salvation, and lavishes her body with salacious praise.

Where her second orgasm ended, she isn’t sure, but she feels a third building almost painfully inside of her. The hormones make it easy to have multiple orgasms, but each time she does, her clit becomes just a bit too sensitive and each thrust inside of her burns more bitterly. A tear leaks from her eye unwillingly as she curses before drawing out Nathaniel’s name until all the air leaves her chest. Unable to hold back any longer, the melodic sound of his name from her throat triggers his hot release inside of the condom, and Nathaniel lets go of her wrists to run his hands against every inch of her sweat-soaked skin. Finally, a flash of white flickers behind Rebecca’s eyes, and her legs tremble with the shock of a third orgasm, and she’s falling endlessly into a seemingly endless pit of blackened bliss. Falling, falling, further from the searing white hot of her heavenly release and deeper into an abysmal emptiness that threatens to overwhelm her consciousness. Thankfully, the weight of the hot,  _ so fucking hot _ , male body now pressing against her back pulls her from slipping too far away.

They catch their breaths and try their hardest not to cling to each other in intimacy, Nathaniel specifically. In a fog of tangled limbs and one too many hard surfaces unfit for intimate activities, he doesn’t process what just happened until the rational Nathaniel begins waving red flags at him in his mind. Rebecca’s brain, clouded by hormones, is a bit slower to catch up, but the anxiety-ridden perfectionist Rebecca shouts inside her head of what a terrible, awful screw-up she is. 

When the sweat turns cold at her back, Rebecca shivers and slowly lifts herself from the bed to find her discarded clothing, unable to meet Nathaniel’s eyes. She doesn’t want to find those surprisingly soulful blue eyes staring down at her and tempting her to let him stay just a moment longer. He wishes that he could spend just a minute nestled in her sweet shampoo caressing the curves of her waist to memorize her breathing patterns as she floats down from her high. While the need is there, it’s a dull, throbbing ache that sits deep within their bones that is just too strong to push to the crevices of their minds. The tension pulsates above their eyes and wraps a constricting band around their hearts, squeezing just an inch too hard should their eyes connect.

A hard swallow. His throat clears. Another hard swallow. The front door slams. A shuddering gasp. She sinks to her knees.

“Are you out of your mind,” he asked her before.

She now sits and asks herself the very same question.


	2. we're both pissed off (and yet turned on)

Heavy breaths and flaming stares fill the silent courtroom. All eyes are on the defense and prosecution who stare each other down adversarially, and to the observers, Rebecca and Nathaniel are both too overcome with rage to speak. But between the two of them, the flames in their eyes are not just sparked by hatred, and their argument continues on in silence, though it’s not legal dominance they’re concerned with anymore.

The judge rules in Rebecca’s favor, and while it’s an immense victory for her and her cause, she doesn’t feel much like celebrating. Rebecca can’t help but watch as Nathaniel leaves the courtroom and stares long after he’s slammed the door on his way out. There’s a warm tingle running through her body, and the hormones only heighten the pleasurable sensations. She needs to get off and fast or she might implode.

“Aren’t you excited, honey,” Paula asks quietly as she reaches out to run her hand over her shoulder which pulls Rebecca from her trance. Rebecca blinks her eyes and refocuses her vision on her best friend looking at her with concern.

“Hmm? Oh, yes, of course I’m excited. I just . . . I need to take care of some business first. I’ll be back.” Rebecca doesn’t give Paula time to respond before she bolts out of the courtroom and sets off to find Nathaniel. Her black heels echo against the tile as she scans every which way to find him. Sure, it felt good to win against someone who could be so arrogant at times, but something about it still didn’t sit right. Rebecca doesn’t feel bad about doing what she knows is right, but why does she feel like she needs to apologize? Maybe the pained look on his face as he left has just a tiny bit to do with it

She’s walked the entire expanse of the hallway, and Nathaniel is nowhere to be seen. Did he leave? He couldn’t have just left. Rebecca cautiously calls out his name and pauses waiting for a response. When she doesn’t hear or see one, she turns to walk towards the courtroom again with a huff. Suddenly, she feels a sharp tug at her wrist pulling her into a room, and it’s not until the door slams that she registers that she’s with Nathaniel. Alone.

“We’re alone now, Rebecca. You can say it.” Rebecca crosses her arms and stares back at Nathaniel bored while he leans against the door.

“Say what?”

“That you can’t handle that I’m seeing someone else.”

Rebecca scoffs and unfolds her arms, tilting her head to the side. “Only if you say that I won fair and square.”

“Please, we both know how you even got this case in the first place. I wouldn’t exactly call that fair and square.” Rebecca brushes off his comment with a wave of her hand.

“Minor details. The point is that I won, and man, am I going to enjoy this or what? So, tell me, what did it for you?”

“What are you talking about?” Rebecca licks her lips and stares at Nathaniel from underneath her eyelashes. By his refusal to look at her directly, she can tell her tactics are working.

“I saw how you looked at me in that courtroom, Nathaniel, and I’ll admit, you put up a good fight. So, what was it? Was it my feminine charms besting you, courtesy of me and my powerful ovaries?” Rebecca steps up to him and walks her fingers in a trail following the buttons on his shirt. Nathaniel follows the line of her fingers, and a small groan comes from his chest as she flicks open the top button on his shirt. “Perhaps was it your own lack of self-control?” Her eyes drop down to teasingly peek at his growing arousal, and she smiles wickedly. Oh, how the tables have turned. Rebecca brushes her fingers through his hair carelessly and in mock sympathy. “Or was it just that I’m smarter than you and you don’t know how to handle it?”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“And you’re ridiculously prideful.” Rebecca digs the knife in just a little deeper and brings her mouth dangerously close to his. “Can’t stand it that you got beat by a woman? I mean, it makes sense. For someone who’s worshipped the patriarchy for this long, I’m sure this is all very new for you--”

“Fine. You won. Now can we end this petty argument once and for all?” Nathaniel steps back a reasonable distance from her, definitely not to hide his flustered reaction to her lips so _close_ to his. He could have just kissed her to shut her up, but he decided against it. Let her have her moment, he thinks, but she should be warned that she’s playing with fire.

“Petty argument? No, I told you what this was about. I did this to protect my friends and coworkers from the corporate bullies. If I don’t stand up for them, no one will. It’s about justice for good people.” Nathaniel scoffs and takes a few steps towards her.

“You can lose the teleprompter, Rebecca. That’s a bullshit argument; you and I both know that. You’re just jealous that I’m fucking someone else. It’s just killing you, isn’t it?” It’s Rebecca’s turn to scoff, and she straightens her back determined not to let their height difference intimidate her.

“You think everything’s about you, huh? Just because you’re Nathaniel fucking Plimpton, you think the world revolves around you? Don’t flatter yourself.” Rebecca doesn’t budge her glare, even as Nathaniel laughs under his breath and shakes his head.

“So this has nothing to do with the fact I’m dating someone thin and pretty who doesn’t eat bagels in the middle of the night and get crumbs all over my bed?” He moves even closer to her, and she cranes her neck to stare daggers at him. “And nothing to do with the fact that I spent this morning between someone else’s legs?”

She shakes her head, trying to rid the image from her mind. “No. I’ve already told you our conflict is just about the legalities of the case,” Rebecca disagrees breathily and silently curses herself for how affected she is by Nathaniel’s words. Oh, what she wouldn’t give for him to do that thing with his tongue again and-- She wipes unwelcome sweat from her brow and begrudgingly acknowledges that the hormones are not the only reason she’s burning up.

“You’re telling me you haven’t thought about it? Haven’t lied in bed at night with your hand between your legs wishing it was mine instead? Those hormones must have you _raging_ , huh?”

“You’re awfully smug for someone who just got his ass handed to him in that courtroom,” Rebecca sasses with her hands on her hips while Nathaniel rolls his eyes. “And for your information, I don’t think about you anymore. My hands do a perfectly good job of satisfying myself, thank you.”

“That’s interesting because the sweat dripping down your neck tells me otherwise.” Nathaniel takes the moment to run his thumb over a bead of sweat that runs down the column of her neck and wraps his hand around the base of her neck, not with intent to hurt her, but certainly intent to control her. He doesn’t miss the flutter of her eyelashes and small gasp she intakes as his fingers hold the back of her neck. “It’s okay to be jealous, Rebecca. I just want you to tell me that’s why you staged this whole court drama.”

It’s getting harder for Rebecca to focus with the arousing pressure of the pads of Nathaniel’s fingers pressing into the tense muscles in her neck. Her voice falters slightly as she defends herself once again. “I didn’t stage anything; this was about standing up for the people who don’t have millions of dollars to do it themselves, and--”

Nathaniel’s grip tightens, and Rebecca moans unbiddenly. Now,  _that's_ interesting. “Stop lying,” he hisses in her ear. Fuck, she’s forgotten how hot he is when he’s angry. Rebecca’s breath quickens as the heat of his breath on her ear sets her skin aflame, and she shivers, reaching out to grab his arm to steady herself. Her fingers press into his skin, and Nathaniel hums at her palpable reaction. “Do you like it when I touch you, Rebecca?”

Rebecca closes her eyes and melts into the sound of his voice caressing her neck as he ghosts his lips over the shell of her ear. She nods. Nathaniel slides his hand down from her neck to the zipper pull on the front of her dress, dragging it down ever so slightly to gain access to her bra. He slides his hand inside her bra cup, and two deft fingers find her nipple and roll it slowly between his index finger and thumb.

“How about like this? Do you like it when I touch you like this?” Her moan comes out fragmented but still audibly in pleasure. The hormones racing through her body make each sensation heightened, her sexual arousal even more inflammed than usual. Rebecca’s mind takes a blissful getaway to their private paradise of hands gripping and mouths slipping and bodies sliding, and it’s masterfully hypnotic. He takes care of both sides before venturing any further and waits for her indication for him to stop; she doesn’t give one.

Her grip on his bicep tightens and Rebecca seems to push her body into his with her mouth slightly agape. For someone who worships her carbs, she is infuriatingly hot, and the expression on her face stirs a low sound from his throat. Nathaniel hooks his finger inside the zipper pull and, inch by torturous inch, drags it down, never breaking eye contact with Rebecca. He wants to see her reactions from the parting of her lips to the widening of her pupils. Her breath staggers in and out while she watches and waits for his teasing to end; Nathaniel keeps a keen eye on her reaction and smiles to himself knowing his teasing is working.

It seems like a century before the zipper reaches its end at the apex of her thighs, and taking his cues from Rebecca’s lack of protest, he gives one final tug, and the black dress separates in two. Nathaniel’s eyes crawl back up her body, his gaze infused with fiery passion, and while his eyes travel back upwards to meet hers, one sneaky hand drifts downwards and pulls her underwear to the side to slip his fingers between her folds.

“Jesus, Rebecca, you’re so fucking wet.” Rebecca lets out a needy moan and fists both of her hands in the front of his jacket. _This_. This is what she needed, long fingers to ride out the pain and the stress of the last few days. Screwing her eyes shut, she’s transported into a universe where Borderline Personality Disorder and cowardice to be vulnerable doesn’t exist, where she can only see him and his intense blue-eyed stare overwhelming her vision. Rebecca begins to lose herself in the backs of her eyes and the steady rhythm of Nathaniel’s fingers moving inside of her.

“Now tell me you’re jealous.” He slows his fingers and waits for her response. When Rebecca opens her eyes, confused as to why she can’t feel his fingers moving anymore, she blinks and finds him staring at her expectantly.

“Wh--what?”

“It's a simple request. Just tell me you’re jealous, Rebecca.” He keeps his fingers inside of her but refuses to move them and give her the satisfaction he knows she craves. Rebecca takes a deep breath before staring at him from under her eyelashes.

“Never.” The word sits in the air for a beat, and Nathaniel smirks as he slides his fingers out of Rebecca and takes a step away from her. “Wait, where are you going?”

“Well, since you’re still adamant to keep lying to me, if I don’t get what I want, then you don’t get what you want. That’s only fair, right?” Rebecca’s not having any of it, and she stares back at Nathaniel incredulously with a hand on her hip.

“You’re really going to withhold sex from me?” Nathaniel’s eyes roam her body lazily and find her eyes again to jump ahead of the rant balling inside of her.

“Is that what you want? You want me to fuck you right here, against this door perhaps? That’s a sturdy looking table behind you.” Rebecca’s eyes illuminate when he mentions the table; ah, that’s it. “That’s what you want, isn’t it? You want me to bend you over and fuck you hard from behind, don’t you?” Rebecca’s resounding moan gives him all the answer he needs, and he steps back up to her threading his hands through her hair and tilting her face up towards him. “Of course you do, dirty girl. Don’t make this hard on yourself; just be honest and tell me the real reason why you sued me. Are you jealous that I’m seeing someone else?”

His hands massaging into her scalp like that makes it incredibly hard to focus and think rationally, not to mention the hormones overpower her baser desires and tempt her to act on them. Rebecca’s head is clouded by arousal at the thought of Nathaniel’s tongue between her legs or his hands tugging her hair or pinning her body with his weight. She’d do or say anything at this point to get him to fuck her. She needs it. She needs _him_.

“Rebecca,” he whispers, so soft in contrast to his previous demeanor, almost hinting at concern. The look in his eyes shifts from a purely sexual hunger to an entirely desperate one. The yearning in his eyes is unsettling, and while his sexual desires are obvious, when Rebecca looks and finds him searching for a deeper piece of her, it’s too much. She breaks.

“Yes, fine, okay? I’m jealous that you’re seeing someone else. There, I said it. Are you happy now?” She spits the word “happy” at him as if it burned her tongue, and he has to admit it feels like lemon juice in a paper cut. At first, he just wanted to get under her skin and tease her, but seeing as how she responded to his question, he senses she’s harboring deeper resentment than he anticipated.

“Rebecca,” Nathaniel says, his voice remaining soft and intimate within Rebecca’s space, but Rebecca isn’t in the mood for tenderness.

“Just shut up and fuck me,” she commands and pulls him down for a bruising kiss. Nathaniel responds fervently as he always does and tightens his fingers in the roots of her hair. Rebecca clings to him desperately, and he drifts into a dreamlike state where the press of her lips against his own is all that matters, and his own thoughts of guilt and shame can’t creep in to torment him. In between kisses, she gasps, “Fuck me on the table from behind.”

As arousing as it is when she takes charge and asserts her dominance, Nathaniel wants to be the boss right now. He takes her chin in his fingers and uses a slightly harsher grip to make her look him in the eyes and establish his control. “Ask me nicely, baby.”

“ _Pleaseeee_ ,” she lengthens the word impossibly until Nathaniel gives her a glare that spurs her to continue. “Nathaniel Plimpton, will you fuck me on this table from behind?”

“I thought you’d never ask.” Nathaniel pulls her in for another kiss and slowly walks her backwards towards the wooden table behind her. When she feels the edge of the table at the backs of her legs, Rebecca slides up onto the surface and brings her hands down to fumble with Nathaniel’s belt. After sliding her dress and blazer from her shoulders to reveal a nude and black matching bra and underwear set, Nathaniel stands back to marvel at her beauty before he loosens his tie and tosses it aside while sliding his lips down the side of Rebecca’s neck and planting kisses almost hard enough to leave a mark. Unfortunately, he has to be careful about leaving evidence of their tryst behind, so he moves up to her ear and takes her lobe between his teeth. “Fuck, you’re gorgeous.”

Rebecca hastily undoes the buttons of his shirt and runs her hands over his chest as she kisses him deeply. She starts to lean back to lie flat on the table, bringing Nathaniel down with her, but before she gets too far down, Nathaniel grabs her wrist, pulling her up and off the table only to turn her around seconds later with her front pressed into the wood and her wrist pinned behind her back. Rebecca gasps and turns her head to the side to look back at him.

“This is what you wanted, isn’t it? You’ve thought about this before, haven’t you?” Rebecca nods and lets her eyes close, relaxing into the sound of his voice fucking her before he’s even inside of her. His hand traces over her ass and finds the curve of her hip to rest his hand on. “You’ve always wanted this. So have I,” he admits as he presses his hardness into her back. “You turned around in that chair in that _fucking_ white dress, and all I could think about was how much I wanted to punish you. I wanted to grab all of that espresso hair while I fucked your mouth.” Rebecca moans loudly when Nathaniel acts on his fantasy and takes a rough handful of her hair, lifting her head from the table and arching her back. “Would you like that too?”

“Please,” Rebecca begs, and she twists under Nathaniel’s grip aching to touch him. Nathaniel senses her urgency and, arousing as it is, he wants control and, much to his surprise, she seems willing to give hers up. Nathaniel reaches over for his discarded tie and loops it around her wrists twice before hastily tying it off.

He leans down to her and calmly whispers, “Is this okay?” Rebecca nods quickly and grinds her hips back into Nathaniel’s clothed erection, growing more desperate by the moment. Rebecca hears him tear open a foil packet and laughs internally at how he’s always prepared for these situations and briefly wonders if it’s purely a coincidence that a condom just happens to be in his wallet when he needs it. He presses his tip against her wetness and stops just before he enters her, leaning over her and pressing her further into the table. “Say my name.”

Helplessly pinned beneath him, Rebecca sighs in pleasure, “Nathaniel.”

His groan rumbles against her back, loving the way his name rolls off her tongue as he slides inside of her, and Rebecca finds his weight at her back comforting despite the roughly fisted hand in her hair that’s tugging at her scalp. Nathaniel fucks her slow but hard, and it’s exactly what she craves, the feeling of his body completely engulfing her in pleasure. It’s so good, almost too good.

“Faster,” Rebecca pleads, her voice barely above a whisper. Nathaniel chuckles and purposely slows down his thrusts just to aggravate her.

“I don’t think you’re in any position to be giving _me_ orders, Rebecca,” he teases as he nips her ear. “But maybe if you were to ask me, I’d consider it. What is it you want, Rebecca?”

She inhaled deeply before releasing her breath and allowing her desires to be free. Rebecca doesn't want to think, doesn't want to work for it; she just needs to let go. “Use me, Nathaniel. Please.”

He sinks back into her quickly and holds himself inside of her to give her time to adjust, but she’s eager as hell and needs him this instant, so she starts to move beneath him, giving herself friction where she craves it most. Rebecca moans, the pleasurable sensations of Nathaniel filling her throw her inhibitions far away. If she grinds down when he’s about halfway inside of her, she finds the stimulation to her clit she needs to come quickly. Nathaniel wants to fulfill her request, and she said she wants him to use her, so that’s exactly what he plans to do. The hand in her hair slips out and winds around to cover her mouth to stifle her increasingly loud expressions of pleasure.

“Don’t move,” he commands roughly, and almost immediately, Rebecca stops moving and cedes control to Nathaniel.

She’s never really known what it’s like to just be purely fucked before, but she’s finding it’s actually nice with the right person. In her most recent sexual encounters, Rebecca was the one who took the lead in the bedroom, never one to shy away from being sexually adventurous or demanding. Submission in or out of the bedroom isn’t really her style; she’s a woman who knows what she wants, and right now, what she wants is more of whatever Nathaniel’s doing to her.

“Does this feel good? You like getting _fucked_ , don’t you?” The word drapes off his lips like silk, and he keeps his voice low and possessive. He wants her to know who’s fucking her. Appreciative of the dirty talk, Rebecca gives a languid moan into his palm, and Nathaniel cups his hand over her ass. Her walls begin to pulse around him, and Nathaniel knows he’s doing something right when he hears the breathy gasp of his name over and over. His hand squeezes her ass, and Rebecca tries her hardest not to arch into his touch. “Come for me, Rebecca.”

Fuck, she’s done for. His gravelly command against her back seals her fate, and she can’t stop the flood of pleasure that washes over her. If it wasn’t for the very sturdy table keeping her balanced, her trembling legs wouldn’t have supported her for much longer. Rebecca lets out a series of broken moans behind Nathaniel’s hand and sinks further into the table’s surface. A few thrusts later, and Nathaniel finds his own orgasm, spilling into the condom with a heavenly curse of Rebecca’s name.

They lie still for a few moments to take the time to recover from the intense moment they shared. If Rebecca turned her head to the left, she would be able to see Nathaniel gazing down at her just as intensely but much less angrily than fifteen minutes ago, his hands sliding up and down her back and shoulders and his mouth fashioning phantom patterns along her neck. But she’s too scared to look. She’s too afraid she’ll look and find something there that threatens the sanctity of their forbidden tryst, something there that could patch her broken pieces, if only the thread couldn’t snap at any moment.

Rebecca is the first to move, or signal to move, that is. Nathaniel gently unravels the tie from around her wrists and turns her around to pull her in towards him. Their eyes lock as they breathe in unison, and suddenly, Rebecca’s racing to find her discarded dress. She can’t do this, can’t stand to look at him when he looks at her like that. Like she’s more than a web of fuck-ups and broken promises to be better. She faces away from him as she rights her clothing and catches her breath. Inhaling shakily, she’s the first to speak as Nathaniel dresses himself behind her.

“Never speak of this,” she says quietly, almost entirely to herself.

“Rebecca, wait--”

It’s too late. She’s fleeing out the door leaving Nathaniel behind dumbstruck and alone. Wow, this feels familiar. He remembers how awful he felt after the last time Rebecca ran out on him, and he’s determined not to let her run from facing what happened again. Nathaniel, unkempt shirt, sex-tousled hair, loosened tie and all, sprints down the hallway to find Rebecca, but when he finds a barren courtroom waiting for him at the end, there’s no way he can catch up to how far she’s probably run (or walked as quickly as she can in those killer pumps.)

It turns out she actually hasn’t gotten far at all. Nathaniel turns the corner towards the parking lot and finds Rebecca on a bench near a large fountain out front cradling her head in her hands trying to muffle her sobs. Against his better judgment, Nathaniel makes his way towards her and cautiously places a hand on her shoulder.

“Paula, I said I--” Rebecca looks up and finds Nathaniel standing beside her with a warm hand on her shoulder and eyes filled with concern. “Oh. You’re not Paula.”

“Can we talk about this? Please?”

“What’s there to talk about? It was a mistake, it happened, and it’s never happening again,” Rebecca says quickly, staring down at her feet. Nathaniel sighs and perches on the bench next to her to which she promptly inches as far away from him as she can.

“Rebecca, we have to talk about this at some point. Isn’t it better to just do it now?”

“Well, what if I don’t want to talk about it? Certainly not now, possibly not ever. God, I’m so stupid. I can’t believe I let this happen.” Rebecca’s voice begins to speed up, her self-deprecating thoughts flowing uninhibited from her lips.

“Rebecca, stop--” Nathaniel tries to appease her, but Rebecca doesn’t even hear him and continue to berate herself.

“You have a fucking girlfriend, Nathaniel. She’s prettier than I’ll ever be on my best day, and you chose her. You deserve her. Just leave me alone, okay?”

Nathaniel takes a slow inhale in an attempt to bury his growing frustration with her. “Rebecca,” he warns.

“Look, Nathaniel, can we not do this? Please, can we just forget that this whole thing ever happened?” In her mind, it’s easier to just push the unwanted thoughts and memories to the hidden compartments of her brain and deal with them . . . well, she hopes she never has to deal with this one.

But Nathaniel doesn’t want to forget. He doesn’t want to erase the vivid images in his mind of the way her body molded into his, the clipped gasp she released when he turned her over on the table and pinned her wrist behind her back. He can’t just push back her luscious moans from behind his hand or her soft bouncy waves between his fingers. The angelic cadence of his name tumbling from her lips as she came.

You foolish boy, did you think this would all be much easier than it’s turned out to be?

“I don’t want to fight with you right now, but can we please for a minute stop running and say what you feel? I want you to talk to me, Rebecca. Please talk to me.” He speaks with such conviction that even though her mind pleads with her to run as quickly as she can in the opposite direction, she’s glued to her seat by his unwavering attempts to get her to open up.

“I’ve been . . . stupid and reckless, and this . . . we can’t--we shouldn’t be doing this. God, this was such a mistake. I’ve gotta--” Rebecca stands up and turns to leave, but before she takes a step, Nathaniel reaches for her hand, holding it gently, much too gently for her liking. She recoils from his touch and takes a shaky breath. “Your girlfriend is probably waiting for you,” she whispers.

Rebecca turns away and doesn’t glance at him as she leaves, wiping her eyes and trying to distract herself with the sight of anything other than her ex-boss, handsome and tall and now handsomely human. Nathaniel, however, watches every step she takes, her posture, her extraneous movements, and thinks to himself how stupid and selfish he is for causing someone he cares so deeply for so much pain. Running his hands through his hair, he paces the area a few times before heading home.

* * *

 Rebecca turns out to be right, _as she always is_ , he thinks. Mona is waiting for him at his place, surprising him with dinner after his big case, which he purposely didn’t say involved Rebecca. He barely touches his food and blames it on stress. Their venture from the couch watching TV to their bed having sex reads like an instruction manual; simple to digest, easy to follow, and most importantly, it assembles beautifully.

Though sometimes the most beautiful things are meant merely for show with no regard for functionality. Nathaniel wrestles with the idea and begins comparing his parents’ relationship to a vase, a precisely sculpted crystalline vase that, if handled with even the slightest grip too harsh, would shatter in a thousand irreplaceable pieces. When things fall apart, their messes are strategically hidden behind closed doors and shielded from prying eyes, and Nathaniel begins to find himself a victim of the Perfect Plimpton policy on drama.

The thought keeps him awake as he rolls over to his side and adjusts his pillow to the cooler side. It’s soft and pliable and everything he isn’t but everything he secretly needs. With a long exhale, Nathaniel reaches for his phone on his bedside table and doesn’t stop himself from pressing Rebecca’s name and giving her a late-night tease, repeating his earlier comment about her hormones raging and attaching the picture of Mona and him at Raging Waters.

Once he sets down his phone, he feels a warm shock run through his veins and stares down at his arm to find hundreds of little raised bumps in a weaving path up to his elbow. His head hits the pillow and he lets his mind wander back to long-lost days of red lipstick smearing on his chin and lavish nights of dancing in ballrooms and one unforgettable red dress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's one more part to follow this, so stay tuned for that coming soon! As always, if you have any ideas or things you'd like to see, you can drop them in a comment here or in my Tumblr inbox @itsme-ashley-marie :) Thanks for sticking with me through this!


	3. but it's probably for the best.

It’s not until two weeks later after her hormone-induced emotional breakdowns have subsided that they’re both staying to work late when she finally says it. So far, since that day in the court, they’ve danced around each other, only volunteering to speak to each other when absolutely necessary. Now that Rebecca has taken over as senior partner, she expects Nathaniel to be telling her all the things she’s doing wrong or making underhanded comments just out of earshot, but he doesn’t. His arrogance, while still there, is placed off politely to the side in favor of efficiency, and he lets Rebecca do her job without  _ much _ interference.

He offers to help her on a large account, and she accepts, not because she couldn’t handle the workload on her own, but it’s only right since he offered that she should let him help, plus it’s less stress for her. Speaking of stress, the hormones coursing through her body heighten literally everything around her, unfortunately including Nathaniel’s cologne, which sends a rush of heat between her legs. And fuck, she lost her place on the page . . . for the fourth time in the last ten minutes.

They’re burning the midnight oil, Rebecca “diligently” reviewing the files while Nathaniel’s answering emails and working on a pitch to present to the clients next week. When his eyes are trained on the screen, Rebecca lifts hers to gaze at him, admiring the concentration set in his eyebrows. She thinks he sees her, so she quickly glances back down at her papers, grateful that her pen reminds her what line she was looking at. Nathaniel follows suit in studying Rebecca’s eyes flitting over the page like dancing sprites, and somehow, she feels his eyes on her. It’s not all bad, but she can’t contain her desire to cut through the quiet. Rebecca sets her pen down and folds her hands together.

“You wanted to talk?” She pauses and waits for him to look up and acknowledge her.

Her sentence breaks the tense silence between them, and immediately, Nathaniel stops typing and looks across his desk at Rebecca, blue eyes open and sincere. She doesn’t even have to explain what about for him to know what she means. This could be the moment where she finally opens up, and Nathaniel waits with bated breath for her response.

“Let’s talk,” Nathaniel says quietly, devoting his full attention to Rebecca and engaging with what she has to say. She swallows hard before speaking again.

“First off, I . . . I want to apologize for all the awful things I said to you. You know I didn’t mean any of that, and the hormones made me act really crazy. I was angry and frustrated and I was lashing out, but I could never hate you. I really care about you, I hope you know that.” Her face softens, and suddenly she feels vulnerable, too exposed. Nathaniel gives her a soft smile, and she returns it as she takes a deep inhale. “And for the record, I’m glad you found someone who makes you happy. Mona seems lovely.”

“Yeah, she really is,” Nathaniel answers almost too quickly, automatically even.

“Great, so we can just be adults about this now?” Nathaniel nods, and Rebecca stands up and crosses to his side of their adjoining desks, extending her hand to shake his. “Friends?”

“Yeah, absolutely, friends,” Nathaniel responds while keeping her hand gripped in his. They share a nervous laugh, agreeing to just be friends. But they’ve never been good at being just friends.

Rebecca moves to let go, but Nathaniel tugs her wrist and pulls her in towards him. Naturally, Rebecca follows where her center of gravity takes her . . . right onto Nathaniel’s lap. In their personalized choreographed dance, they know the next step is a passionate kiss, and by now, they both know this dance forwards and backwards. What can they do except obey the laws of attraction?

Rebecca leans in for a hot, open-mouthed kiss, greedily pressing her lips and teeth and tongue in time with Nathaniel’s. Nathaniel’s hand floats up to her head and tangles into her hair as Rebecca climbs further into his lap in the chair. Needing her body closer still, Nathaniel grabs her ass and wraps his arm around her back. They both begin to lose themselves in the kiss, but Rebecca pulls back holding Nathaniel’s face.

“We shouldn’t be doing this—“

“God, no, this is a horrible idea—“

They stare into each other’s eyes for a long moment and breathe deeply. Eyes roam each other’s bodies hungrily, and it’s unclear who moves in first for a second kiss. Rebecca’s hands push Nathaniel’s jacket off his shoulders as he leans back in his desk chair and molds her body into his. Nathaniel slides his hand between their bodies and cups her beneath her skirt. Rebecca lets out a high-pitched moan against his neck, still sensitive to touch from the hormones. But the sigh she releases after his initial touch gives away that she may have missed him a little.

“You sure some of those hormones aren’t still lingering,” Nathaniel teases, pushing a piece of hair that’s fallen in front of her eyes.

“Shut up.”

The way she slips down to her knees and bites her lip shuts him up quickly. Once Nathaniel sees what his sneaky partner is up to, he swallows hard. If she hadn’t killed him yet, now would most likely be his sweet salacious descent into death.

Rebecca quirks her eyebrows up once she unfastens his belt, a silent question of permission, though she knows by the look on his face, she needs no permission to continue what she’s planning. She releases him from his pants and waits, her breath humid with power and hunger as she ghosts the length of his dick. Rebecca’s hands rest behind her back, which makes her chest stand out even more, and Nathaniel looks down at her pleadingly.

“If you don’t stop teasing me, woman, I swear I will—“ Nathaniel doesn’t finish his sentence when all he can focus on is Rebecca’s mouth possessing his dick. The slide of her tongue, devious and enchanting, sends Nathaniel spiraling into a feverish swirl of arousal. He closes his eyes and grips the arms of his chair, letting Rebecca seize control. She might be a lot of less than perfect things, that Rebecca Bunch, but Nathaniel takes note that  _ fucking incredible  _ at giving head is not one of them.

“Damnit, you’re too good at that, Rebecca.” She flutters her eyelashes up at him with a smile around his dick and takes him deeper in her throat, which earns a throaty gasp from Nathaniel. “Fuck, stop.” Rebecca pulls her mouth away from him and sit back on her heels looking up at Nathaniel with feigned innocence. “Come here.”

Rebecca crawls back up onto Nathaniel’s lap and straddles him with her legs threaded between the arms of his chair. She leans in for a kiss, gripping his shoulders tightly as she moans into his mouth. She begins to find a rhythm grinding against him, but her height puts her at a disadvantage because she can’t get enough leverage to rest her feet on the ground while on top of him.

Nathaniel senses her discomfort when her movements stutter on top of him, but before suggesting a different location, he gets an idea when he peers out of the corner of his eye. He taps the outside of her thigh, and once she lifts her feet from the ground, Nathaniel stands from his chair and perches her on top of his desk. The two kiss desperately, their hands gripping each other and refusing to break contact. Rebecca’s thighs are pressing firmly into a stack of manila folders on Nathaniel’s side of their combined desk, but she couldn’t care less. She’s focusing on the sting of the love bites he’s marking the skin of her chest beneath her blouse with, a delicious sting at that, one that trails hotly through her bloodstream and stirs the fire in her core.

When Nathaniel reaches for his discarded pants to find a condom, Rebecca crosses her legs and leans back on her palms.

“So I’m 1000 percent okay with this going down on this desk, but could you maybe not fuck a billion papercuts into my ass?” While he rolls on the condom, he can’t help but laugh beneath his breath a little. “Don’t get me wrong, I like it rough; you of all people know that,” she says as her voice drops down an octave, “but that would be just a literal pain in the—“

Rebecca can’t finish her sentence because she’s being moved towards the center of his desk, and she gasps when she finds herself looking at Nathaniel, close enough to kiss, to feel his desire dripping from his lips. Something smoky swirls in his eyes, demanding, possessive. While one hand holds her face, the other swipes the stack of papers and folders from his side of the desk with a low growl.

Rebecca swears she’s never been more turned on in her life.

Sure, that’s a classic office porno move, but something in the way Nathaniel does it, in the way his typical office dominance asserts itself into the situation, just makes her panties drop. And quite literally in the next few moments, they do. Nathaniel takes advantage of the expansive surface and leans Rebecca back onto the cool glass, his tongue tangoing languidly inside her mouth. Until it decides to venture elsewhere.

Rebecca briefly mourns the loss of contact of his soft lips against hers, but she lets out a strangled moan when his lips find somewhere better. He starts at her inner thighs, peppering kisses just up to her center but not quite there. Eventually, his mouth finds her pussy, open and waiting, and before taking his tongue inside, he shifts his eyes above Rebecca’s pelvis and winks at her. She laughs for a moment before trading that laugh for a series of moans once his tongue dives into her.

Her hand reaches out and clings to his hair as he continues to lick at her, tongue hot against her dripping center. She grips the strands of his hair with one hand while she anchors herself to the desk with the other. Oh, she’s missed this. Even after two weeks of an almost meddlesome sex drive, it feels nice to just be taken care of. Nathaniel hums against her, the vibrations sending shockwaves of pleasure through her body. Flick, kick-step, circle . . . and  _ dip _ .

Rebecca’s hips buck of their own accord when Nathaniel’s lips latch onto her clit and apply pressure just shy of pain; he responds in kind by anchoring her hips to the desk with his forearm pressing across them. His other hand slips down and pushes two fingers inside of her.

“Shit, Nath—Nathaniel, please,” Rebecca gasps as she tightens her fingers in his hair. Nathaniel doesn’t lose resistance and keeps Rebecca climbing towards her peak. When she falls apart, Rebecca screws her eyes shut as her walls clench around his fingers, and his name tumbles from her lips with a sigh.

After she comes down from her orgasm, Nathaniel’s lips ghost up her body and reconnect with her mouth, and Rebecca savors the taste of herself in his kiss. She reaches up to grasp the back of his neck and pull him closer, and Nathaniel bends to her will, despite the less than comfortable bend in his knees as he attempts to slide inside of her.

“This would be better on the floor,” Rebecca suggests and climbs off of Nathaniel’s desk as gracefully as she can (she still ends up looking like a drunk duckling, and Nathaniel doesn’t say a word, but it doesn’t mean he isn’t teasing her in his head.)

Nathaniel lies on his back and lets Rebecca take her place back on top of him, her center positioned just over his dick. Again, their lips meet in a passionate dance. She’s so close and so ready for him, but a glimmer of something shiny catches her peripheral vision, so she looks over to see what it could be. What an interesting turn of events.

“Hey Nathaniel?” He opens his eyes and hums his acknowledgement as he stares up at her with her hands planted firmly on his chest. “That day in the conference room, with the flying squirrel . . . did you want me?”

A past version of Nathaniel would have blown off her comment and denied any sort of attraction to her and her low-cut dress with that perfect shade of purple that brought out the blue in her eyes. He’s unsure if it’s her arousal or the lighting or just  _ her _ , but her eyes look as bright and beautiful as they were that day, now with just slightly less ferocity.

“Why do you ask,” he says clearing his throat. Rebecca’s lips curl upwards, and all the ferocity from that moment all those months ago comes rushing back into her eyes. Only this time, she channels it into sexual desire instead of anger. Moving her body over his, she reaches out and swipes a discarded pen lying carelessly on the ground, strewn in the shuffle of objects Nathaniel cleared off his desk.

The pen clicks beside his ear, and instinctively, Nathaniel’s hands reach up to capture her wrists, and Rebecca’s breath quickens in anticipation. She wants to play, and apparently, so does he. Thankfully, he shares her penchant for recreating moments and indulges her fantasy.

“I was so angry with you, Nathaniel, and you loved it, didn’t you? I felt it, how turned on you were. It would have been so easy if we were alone to just . . .” Slowly, Rebecca sinks down on him, savoring the stretch between her legs. Nathaniel’s eyes close, and he mutters a curse or two; Rebecca smiles to herself. She controls the rhythm of their bodies moving together and leans down to nip at his throat and neck, her height preventing her from fully reaching his mouth. Her hips work on top of him in a swiveling dance that reaches every crevice of her core, and Nathaniel finds himself drowning in her heat, unrestrained pleading sounds leaving his lips.

“Take it,” she growls above him, inching the pen closer to his neck. Easily slipping back into her character from long ago, the fury in her eyes returns and copies itself into the sharp thrusts of her hips. She feels powerful, unstoppable. Ah, the pleasantries of an uninterrupted moment.

Nathaniel feels himself getting close to release, but he doesn’t want to finish before Rebecca; to keep that from happening, he uses his strength to turn her on her back and pin her wrists above her head. She gasps from surprise at first, but then it transforms into a long moan when Nathaniel slips back inside of her.

“You’re so hot when you’re angry, makes me want to fuck you harder.”

“ _ Yessss _ ,” Rebecca sighs, arching her back beneath him. She tries pressing her hips up into his to gain that perfect friction against her clit, but Nathaniel admonishes her with a small chuckle and a small squeeze of her wrists.

“No, my turn.” He certainly knows what she likes by this point, and after a brief confrontation with herself, she relinquishes control and trusts he won’t leave her hanging. Rebecca lies back and closes her eyes, traveling back to that time and place. Nathaniel quickens his pace when he feels Rebecca’s walls pulse around him.  _ Oh fuck, it’s so good. _ “Yeah, that’s it.  _ Take it _ .”

“Oh, _ fuck _ ,” she cries brokenly, her eyes still screwed shut. The pen falls from her grip, and she frees her wrists from Nathaniel’s grip to fist her hands in his hair. All theatrics aside, Rebecca kisses him with every ounce of her passion and wraps her legs around his back, clinging to him as she comes. Nathaniel follows her over the edge, his hands delving into her hair as he returns her kiss.

Their chests rise and fall quickly, her legs tremble around him, his hand traces the outside of her arm. They come down together, foreheads pressed against one another, mouths mere centimeters apart. Swept up in the post-coital bliss, Rebecca tentatively reaches up and presses her lips to Nathaniel’s, the solace of his warm lips on hers a welcome touch. Nathaniel would be lying if he said he didn’t long for this, long for  _ her _ . He kisses her without hesitation, without question, without fear. He needs her more than he can express.

Limbs tangled together, touching each other with no destination in sight, eyes closed shielding the prickling reality that lies before them, Rebecca and Nathaniel don’t want to face the consequences of what just happened. They both know that it’s wrong, but when something feels so right, how can it be wrong?

“This was a bad idea. We shouldn’t—“ Rebecca starts before Nathaniel cuts her off with a tender brush of her hair behind her ear. Her breath hitches as she stares up into his eyes, full of cerulean passion and need and something forbidden she didn’t dare speak aloud. 

There’s a war going on inside herself between what she wants to do and what she knows she should do. The air is thick and heavy with tension, never mind Nathaniel’s weight on top of her, a comfortable presence but too familiar. Eventually, the rational compartment of her brain screams at her to make the right choice, and Rebecca places a hand on his shoulder to urge him off of her. She needs to get out before she can’t stop herself from needing to stay.

Silently, she redresses and Nathaniel watches her from his desk, unmoving and utterly transfixed by her even as flustered and bitter as she is. Rebecca gathers her things and walks towards the door, pausing before turning the handle.

“Nathaniel, this was a mistake.”

But that’s not what he heard.

_ “Nathaniel, you are a mistake,”  _ his mind echoes.

“What just happened, it— it shouldn’t, no, it can’t happen again.” Rebecca can’t turn around and face the pain in his eyes that she knows she’ll find. Instead, she imagines what she’d hope to see, Nathaniel staring back at her, steeling his expression much like he normally does to avoid showing how he feels. 

Except he’s actually staring at her like she’s the rubble of his home shattered by an earthquake.

Rebecca takes another breath to calm the tears prickling at her eyes. “I’m sorry, I— I should go. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

With that, she turns the handle, lets the door fall shut behind her, and races towards the elevator. The tears threaten to fall faster as she waits for the doors to open, and she doesn’t cry until she’s concealed within the safety of the closed metal doors.

Everything about this is wrong. Well, maybe everything except him. But this is her fault because  _ I’m a stupid needy bitch who can’t control myself, and I always go for things I can’t have. God, I have multiple degrees, how can I be so stupid?  _ Rebecca leans her head against the wall of the elevator, and her mind rushes back to another moment of infidelity with the same man, and  _ holy fuck, can this elevator move any slower?! Get me the hell out of here. _

Racing out to the parking lot to find her car, Rebecca climbs inside quickly and takes a few deep breaths, gripping the steering wheel for grounding. She pulls out of the parking lot as soon as she feels calm enough to drive home without totaling her car, but she is by no means calm. Once she gets home, Rebecca paces around her bedroom to work off the flurry of emotions overwhelming her. She works to silence the taunting jeers of her own shortcomings, and all she wants is to scream, but her throat won’t let the sound leave because it’s impeded by hot tears.

Eventually, when she can’t stand any longer, she collapses on her bed, though it provides no comfort. Rebecca curls into herself under her blankets and turns to her left side to stare out her window, despite really seeing nothing. Does she know what happened tonight was wrong? Yes, absolutely. Infidelity is wrong, no matter how you slice it. But does she regret it? . . . to be determined, she thinks before gracious sleep takes hold of her.

Meanwhile, Nathaniel sits at his desk, palms wringing together, unsure of what the hell to feel; better yet, how to express what he feels. There’s anger and confusion, but he’s blinded by a sharp ache that lingers in the absence of her. He needs a drink.

He goes home, alone, thankfully for him and pours himself a drink. The alcohol burns pleasantly down his throat, but it doesn’t scorch the warm feelings she left in the pit of his stomach. Nathaniel polishes off the scotch and decides to change clothes to help rid him of the guilty memory. Unbuttoning his shirt, there she is again, her perfume dangling in the crisp fabric. While Nathaniel would like nothing more than to toss that shirt into a hamper and set it ablaze, he doesn’t; he bundles it and presses it to his nose, inhaling her intoxicating beauty to conjure a memory of her to fall asleep to. 

His legs won’t move him towards the shower to scrub away the pain and shame, and he instead lands on his bed with a swirling sickness and his shirt cradled in his arms. Taking a breath to slow his racing heart, Nathaniel stares up at the ceiling to avoid finding the empty side of his bed wishing a certain brunette with bouncy curls and a smile like sunshine would fill that blank space.

Did he know that was wrong? Yes, absolutely. Dreaming of someone other than your girlfriend is very wrong. But did he want to stop? . . . to be determined, he thinks, drifting to sleep with her voice and her lips and her heart wrapped around every corner of his mind.

* * *

After that one time in the office, they decide that having sex is a bad idea and should never happen again, and they are both respectful of the boundaries . . . until dinner with their clients and a few glasses of wine leads to one steamy kiss on Rebecca’s porch, which leads to a midnight fuck in the kitchen, and let’s not forget the  _ steamy _ shower sex that comes after. The next morning, Nathaniel and Rebecca wake up intimately intertwined, swearing that this is absolutely the last time, and while nothing about it feels truly final, Rebecca knows that for his sake and for Mona’s, this can’t keep happening.

Thankfully, things are tame around the office. No fights that lead to angry makeout sessions, no longing stares or worrying lips between teeth; what’s going on between them is normal, everyday office interaction between co-bosses. That is, until the bough breaks and the cradle falls.

Heather overdoes it at work, and her doctor puts her on bedrest at home for two weeks, even though nothing is wrong with the baby. It’s just a precaution. She doesn’t really complain too much since she can finally finish her season of  _ Black Mirror _ without interruption, minus the inconvenient amount of times she has to get up to pee. 

Rebecca, unfortunately, takes it a bit harder than she expects. She’s anxious and nervous and sleep-deprived and tense, and Nathaniel offers his assistance, not in a sexual way, but he did make her stop protesting to let him rub her shoulders and talk to her about anything other than babies and work for three minutes. The former is easy, but the latter takes a moment for him to not relate anything back to work, so he opts to talk about flowers, roses in particular, and how fresh they smelled when he visited the greenhouse at his parents’ house last weekend.

“It’s been longer than three minutes,” Rebecca sighs, looking at her phone. “But this feels really nice.”

“Should I keep going,” Nathaniel asks from behind her.

“If you stopped, I might have to fire you,” she teases and sinks back into his touch. Nathaniel laughs, not only because he knows she could, but also because he knows she wouldn’t. Someone has to be the hard-ass around here after all. 

He finds a particularly troublesome knot in her shoulder blade, and when he presses his thumb into it, Rebecca lets out a long moan, the sound like a favorite song from long ago. He removes the pressure from that spot on her shoulder and runs his fingers down the back of her neck underneath her hair instead. Rebecca finds his hands behind her and urges them to the front of her chest.

“Rebecca--” he whispers painfully against her hair.

“Please. Just . . . please?” She’s gripping him tighter than most likely necessary, and Nathaniel takes her quiet begging as permission enough. Though he certainly shouldn’t be doing this, he doesn’t want to disappoint or hurt Rebecca, plus he admits to himself early on that even as long as he’s known her, he’s still powerless to resist her.

This leads into a series of last times and big mistakes and “never again” and “no, we shouldn’t,” but these half-hearted promises are stitched and split time and again, and each time, it gets a little harder to believe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ladies and gents, it is finished.
> 
> BUT it's nowhere near over! As you can see, the work is now part of a series! 
> 
> The series will have three parts, this being the first, and Supply Shopping being the second. The third piece is a secret I'm keeping for now, but once the last chapter of Supply Shopping goes up, I will reveal the plot of the final piece of this universe.
> 
> Many thanks as usual to my squad @heartbash and @pictureofsoph1sticatedgrace on Tumblr. I couldn't do this without you both <3
> 
> As always, I love and appreciate your support, and if you have any prompts, questions, or just wanna talk, just send me a message here or on my Tumblr @itsme-ashley-marie :) 
> 
> Much love to you all!


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